It's About Time.

So, becoming a world famous writer/journalist is definitely not as easy as it seems. Especially after I found out that the story I sent in to the children's newspaper was accepted but not printed because being the genius that I am, I left out my address. And phone number.
And then when the editor asks me for it, I don't find out until 3 months later because I absolutely refuse to check my email regularly.
And who was the most affected by this news? My sister. She kept saying, "Aww, Salehaaaaa. Aww, SAAAALEEEEEHAAA."
Yes, we get it, Aapa. -____-
In other news I performed in my school's annual drama event and I was so so so happy! :D Forget the fact that I was crying every two days because the stress of the performance coupled with my studies, dramatic friends and new forbidden crush (who was alot nearer than you can imagine) was too much for me. But it's times like these when you find out who your real friends are, no?
On the phone:
Quite Old Close Friend: Saleha, are you crying?
Saleha: Nooooooooo.
QOCF: Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?
Saleha: *breaks down crying*
QOCF: Okaaay, then. I'm going to go eat food. I'll see ya tomorrow!
Saleha: I hate you. Don't come.
And I meant it. I mean, who does that? When your friend's bawling on the phone before the night of the performance, she obviously has some sory of problem. But nooooo. Little Miss I-Dont-Deal-With-Emotions-Because-They're-Weird didn't care about her "10 year friendship".
Whatever. I've learnt to accept that some people just cant deal with problems like those. It's too much for their happy-go-lucky life. Just know, next time you're thinking of cutting yourself, don't message me. :|
I'm just kidding, man. You know who you are.
I just don't get why it's so hard to talk about these issues and say anything that is even remotely serious. Or something that actually matters.
But luckily the friends who you can talk to about anything, help you through those times. Thanks. You know who you are. ;) So I guess I just divide them into groups in my mind.
And that also brings me to the fact that I've accepted that I am not going to be in a specific group in school. It's just too hard to limit my friends and plus, some people are just EVIL. And in the course of a lifetime it really doesn't matter whether I was in a group or not. Because I have friends that love me and I hang out with them and that's all that really matters. :)

Monsoon

The gentle moving hand of the wind

Sweeps its wings to the ground

Sifting the earth so even the children can feel

What is under their bare feet

Black blends with white

Like the greatest artist blotting the canvas

Which is the sky

Drums beat high above in the heavens

To join the people as they rejoice

The atmosphere is still

No one dares breathe

Until the first of the raindrops

Leave the embrace of the clouds

And finally let go to meet the welcome land.

I wrote it myself. :)

It reminds me of monsoon in Pakistan. The smell of the shifting earth, the grey sky and the cool wind in my face. I love  sandstorms the most.

2010 was so last year.

My title’s pretty lameass. I just copied it from someone. 

But I must say, 2010, despite the heightening insecurity, loneliness, bouts of uncertainty, those 365 days went pretty well. I learnt so much about myself and even though there’s a long way to go, I’m still happy with who I am.

After an explosive 2009 with many fights, backbiting and plain mean-ness which I never want to revisit, I learnt to find my place in my class and group of friends. Moving on to different groups and not being sure of where I fit in, I slowly learnt where I belong although it was a very difficult journey (thank you Kamini!  You’re awesome) Some friends are always there and I love them for it.

So so so, with all that experience I decided to make my resolutions and hopefully I’ll follow through with them:

• Become English Sub-Editor of my school magazine Mashal: Please oh please oh please! I’ll pray for it everyday and I’ll do anything to get that post! I love literature and I want to go on to study it in college. Since I’m obsessed with getting into a really good college like Cambridge I HAVE to get this post. I’ll die if I don’t. I even have its badge from a former sub-editor (under my pillow) and I’m asking anyone and everyone for advice. PLEASE GOD PLEASE. It’s a really big deal.
• Get straight As: I must admit that our Pakistani society is especially centered on this and although I don’t think it’s very nice, I still want to do it. It’ll give me a sense of achievement and it’ll make my parents proud too. And let’s face it, I did NOT do well in the mid-terms. :/
• 
  
• Finish translation of the Quran: I want to learn about it myself and make my own interpretation of Islam and understand it the best way I can. I think it’ll be really beneficial for me. Plus, it’ll help me defend Islam when them biased people try to say bad things about it.
• Finish learning piano: I must. I must. I must. After forcing my parents to buy me a big ass electric piano I seriously wanted to get started on it but… I admit I was very lazy. I don’t want them to lose faith in me so I’m learning it from the internet since my dad believes real musicians just “Do it.”
• Start blogging: I think it’ll help me improve my style of writing and just give me experience.
• Pray: As Muslims we’re supposed to pray 5 times a day. I want to feel pure.
• Get Amazon Kindle: I’m tired of the electricity going 5 times a day for an hour! How else shall I read my ebooks? It’s more like a wishlist item but still. It’s for 395 dollars (I think) which is approximately Rs. 11,000. (DAMN SKILLET.)
• Volunteer in a charity this summer: Preferably Edhi because I just love how he’s helped so many people without contacts or money. And he doesn’t even use any of the money for himself. Two pairs of clothes! TWO!
• Get highest in English Literature: What more can I say? I’m obsessed.

Here’s to a fantastic 2011. *fingers crossed*